Well, week two
SUCKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How oh How!!! Swirly whirly goes the head..... ummm, just like a toxic, pasturized cow pus, artificially colored, flavored, preserved, swirly ice cream cone......
Do I need to grasp the concept that this is a journey I will need to walk when BF comes home, and not make him my xcuse for my food choices..... (weakly... yes)
Do I see now, that my enemy roams like a roaring lion looking to devour me, and I must always be watchful.
Am i even more strengthened to love on others when they wrestle with their defeat and monsters...
Do I really realize that it all starts with submitting myself quietly day in and day out, moment by moment, to the peace and strength of Christ because in and of myself I can do nothing....
YES.......and YES.......
So in the grand scheme of things,
Whats the Verdict for Week 2??
SUCKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No other way to put it. I struggled thru it all. My attitude, my focus.
It was so cold here, all I could do was to curl up in a ball.
It was so cold here, all I could do was to curl up in a ball.
I got behind on my sitz baths, which should be done consistently in order to see any effect.
I went back to drinking some coffee, waking a horrible beast, telling myself...
tommorrow, tomorrow...
My attitude with the kids stunk.
They could do nothing right.
I was miserable and grumpy, all the more wanting to wallow myself if a big bowl of something gooey with a big glass of red.
I went back to drinking some coffee, waking a horrible beast, telling myself...
tommorrow, tomorrow...
My attitude with the kids stunk.
They could do nothing right.
I was miserable and grumpy, all the more wanting to wallow myself if a big bowl of something gooey with a big glass of red.
No.... make that a whole bottle of red....
My studying time...nil
My devotional time....nadda
My writing time... na uh
My devotional time....nadda
My writing time... na uh
And now I feel the pressure. I feel the defeat. I have lost sooo much time.
I realize that BF is back in 14 short days and then the wining and dining will begin again.
......I realize that BF is back in 14 short days and then the wining and dining will begin again.
AUGHHHH!!!
I fall dramatically across my bed, like a forlorn damsel...
How ever will I stand then? Will I ever see victory?
How ever will I stand then? Will I ever see victory?
The monsters yell in my ear. HOLY HANNAH!!!!
are those things still alive?
I must punish myself. I can cheat my way around this.
Just binge Jo.
BLOW IT! BLOW IT!
You know you WANT TOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
are those things still alive?
I must punish myself. I can cheat my way around this.
Just binge Jo.
BLOW IT! BLOW IT!
You know you WANT TOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
How oh How!!! Swirly whirly goes the head..... ummm, just like a toxic, pasturized cow pus, artificially colored, flavored, preserved, swirly ice cream cone......
now... xhale....... 
deep breathing.....
deep breathing.....
some where in there... Holy Ghost met me....
grace came flooding......
I xhaled..
grace came flooding......
I xhaled..
This week I made decisions... do I want this? YES!!
Am I still able.... YES!!!
Am I still able.... YES!!!
Do I need to grasp the concept that this is a journey I will need to walk when BF comes home, and not make him my xcuse for my food choices..... (weakly... yes)
Do I see now, that my enemy roams like a roaring lion looking to devour me, and I must always be watchful.
Am i even more strengthened to love on others when they wrestle with their defeat and monsters...
YES!!!!
Do I really realize that it all starts with submitting myself quietly day in and day out, moment by moment, to the peace and strength of Christ because in and of myself I can do nothing....
YES.......and YES.......
Whats the Verdict for Week 2??
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